Sometimes when you’re running to a safe harbour your thoughts get directed to the harbour that makes you feel safe but hurt you the most. When that is the case, familiarity isn’t your answer.
In any case, since your absurd texts to me two weeks ago I’ve heard nothing. I regret not responding but you weren’t making any sense anyway.
I miss you, the one familiar but a stranger. Sharply, tonight, I miss you.
Today was a bigger test. I felt my patience being tested. I felt jealousy and anger. There you were, talking to her like a lovestruck fool in front of me while I was queuing up for the beer you’d say you’d get. I felt each hurt acutely. Bought the beer but you were still at it. So I left with my open can in hand, presence unwanted and forgotten, carrying my aching heart. I took a taxi with a stranger who was heading the same direction. I asked him about his job, half-filtering what he said but trying to keep up an intelligent conversation.
I am even now, ‘Sin Lim’ on your phone.
It is 12.38am. Took you more than an hour to realise my disappearance.
Today is a test I’d gladly fail. Good night.