Remembering K

This morning, at around 4.53am, I found out that an old friend has passed away. He had pneumonia, 4th stage lung cancer and 4th stage kidney cancer.

I cried and cried reading people’s messages on his facebook wall, grew sadder and cried more reading his story written by his friend; my ex had touched so many lives. In a foreign land, rain falling outside, with only the comfort of my blanket and bed I grieved for someone I had known to be humble, mild-tempered and sincere; loyal, positive and filial, gentle and polite. Someone who had a big heart and the kindest soul I’d ever known in my 27 years of life. I thought between sobs, could I ever be that kind?

As far as I know, he didn’t believe in God. But he was a good man.

It was you, at 20-year old then, who told me that the key to a lasting relationship was to grow together. I don’t know why I remembered that, but I do. Probably because that answer from you was unexpected to my 17-year old self who then probably believed love was all. This lesson from you, I learnt myself 4 years later and it is still something I firmly believe in.

You came to deliver your jacket to me when I told you the lab in school was cold. Even my classmates were surprised. I think some of them remember you that way too. It was just eight months, but you were the best boyfriend I’d ever had. Or at least, had the best qualities than any of my exes ever had.

I wish, I could attend your funeral to remember you along with the many others you have made an impression on.

Thank you, and rest in peace, K.

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